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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Who Killed the Baby? Mr. Condom!

People often ask me why I'm so passionate about the subject of contraception. I explain that a few years ago someone told me that two people were going to have sex -- and they were going to use a condom. I was horrified at what I heard. I frantically rushed to my car and sped to the place of coitus.

I rushed in and found the open condom wrapper. I begged the woman, Fran, not to put the condom on him. She smiled at me and said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to. I told myself that if some crazy man whom I don't know bursts in here then I wouldn't use the condom." I headed home, condom in hand, knowing I had done the right thing.

Two years later while I was in the park, I saw a beautiful little girl playing in the grass; it was Fran's child. It really hammered home the issue that we're dealing with when it comes to contraception. If I hadn't confiscated the condom, the little girl wouldn't be alive today.

Do remember that the solution to this isn't just to protest; although, that is a good start. We need to prevent people altogether from using contraception. Write your congressman to help prevent the dissemination of condoms in Africa. If you know your friends are going to have sex, urge them not to use "protection." That sort of protection is the same kind of "protection" the Nazis in Germany used to protect themselves from Jews existing. Using condoms makes you a Nazi.

In the next post on the immorality of apathy: abstinence. This vile practice eliminates untold millions and millions of citizens. I would never... ever... vote for a politician who advocates killing babies before they even get in the womb. Down with contraception. Down with abstinence.

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