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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Questions an Atheist Can Answer

So, Ray seems to think he has a list of ten questions atheists can't answer. This atheist can, though. Observe:

1. What was in the beginning?

2. How will life on earth end?
The Flying Spaghetti Monster will boil the universe in a bowl of spaghetti sauce.

3. What happens after death?
Those who were one with His Noodliness will receive the most spectacular paperclip (which we can't even imagine) that we will have to play with for all eternity. Those who weren't will be subjected to watching a Ray Comfort floss for all eternity.

4. What is the purpose of existence?
To be touched by his noodley appendage.

5. Why there is order in all of creation?
The Flying Spaghetti Monster made it so.

6. Why there is morality in every civilization?
They fear the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

7. Why does every civilization believe in a Creator?
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is obvious.

8. Why does every sane person have a conscience, even when it is not dictated by society?
I suppose the question is, why doesn't every person have a conscience? And why does society influence the conscience and values of the person? (Answer to both these questions: The Flying Spaghetti Monster)

9. How did nothing create everything?
Nothing created the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and then the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything. Isn't it obvious?

10. Which came first--the chicken or the egg?
Neither. Nothing came first, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster came second, then a mountain, then a tree, then a midget, then the egg, and finally the chicken.


The Maze Monster said...

I'm very concerned for the day that the flying spaghetti monster will cook us all. Perhaps this is our punishment for enjoying spaghetti at his expense?


Spaghetti actually sounds really good right now. Time to go sin against FSM.

FrodoSaves said...

Here's an equally good question vis a vis #9... How is it that Ray thinks God created everything? Because that solution is of course much less plausible, due to the fact that God's own existence is hopelessly implausible. And if that is the case, then in place of God, there is nothing, which leads us right back to the question as to how nothing created everything.

And that's what I call mental masturbation.